SEARCH - POEM 13

 I hoped to find you,

Or maybe I just hoped to find myself in you.

It may be deceit,

hallucination,

or maybe even betrayal even to myself,

to look for myself somewhere else,

that is outside of me.

Is it a place?

A person?

Or maybe even an object?

Or maybe it is something even deeper?

A lost fragment of my past or myself,

Feelings left in the dark and forgotten?

Maybe emotions hidden and cast away,

which peeps out once in a while drowning me back to agony,

or maybe repressed emotions?

hiding what I truly think?

Who knows?

Maybe one day I'll know?

Maybe I'll never know?

But at the end of the day,

It's still a search,

Just a search,

a massive search in my massive database of memories and past life events.

I wonder if I'm interested in finding out?

Who knows?

And who can tell me what I'm feeling right now?

I guess it's only me.

Because true truth and validations comes from no else, no place or object but myself.

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By: The Empress/ Nabila / 凤星云 Feng XingYun / Queen Beela